Mixed Feelings About A Loss Of Someone I Haven't Had Contact With In A Long Time
I just learned today that my first boyfriend passed away mid last month. I don't know how I should feel about this. On one hand, he was my first boyfriend, a guy I was in love with for a long while, years, after he left me. There is still a small part of my heart that still feels for him. On the other hand, he was a psychological terrorist. He weaponized my feelings for him against me. He always made his way back into my life because he knew he could. He killed budding relationships I tried to get into because he knew he would "alpha male" me and take what he wanted but throw it away when he knew I couldn't have it. The only guy it didn't work on was a straight friend of mine, Dwayne, who would go to the gay club on the weekends with me and my friends because it was fun. His first interaction with my ex, he knew exactly what was up and pretended to be my "boyfriend" when my ex tried to hit on him, knowing his game. I haven't had any interaction w...