Thoughts On Depression

I posted this on my Facebook account, but I want to put it here also so that it's easier for me to find.

"I want to leave tonight with a thought.

Robin Williams took his life today and it brought to mind the morning that I heard that my friend David Chung took his life. It brought to mind the multiple times that a friend tried to take his life under my roof. It brings to mind the many times that I've found myself lost in the darkness.

Depression is an experience that one going through it is unable to articulate what they're going through when they're going through it. It's a dark veil that leaves you grasping for something to hold onto but only holding air. It's a helpless feeling that build on itself because all you can see, all you can feel is the darkness. It sucks the life out of you in increments until all that's left is nothing. I've never wanted to take my life, but I can understand why someone would.

Here's the thing. Someone going through such a thing probably isn't going to reach out to you. They can't see you. They can't see anyone. All they see is the dark. But you can see it. You can tell if someone you know and love is falling into that abyss. If you see it, if you see the signs of someone becoming distant, of someone not quite in the moment... reach out to them. Be progressive. Call them. Take them to dinner. Go to their house and sit and watch television with them. They may fight you, they may try to dissuade you, but don't let them. Don't let them turn you away.

Even in my darkest moments, I've still seen the glimmer of hope. It may be beyond my reach but I still see it. I still need you. I still need you to spend time with me, to help pull me back by simply being there.

You don't have to acknowledge what we're going through. We don't want you to. We know it. But you do have to be our tether. We really do want you to keep us connected to life.

It's easy to say "Call me". We won't. I promise you we won't. We can't see you. It's on you to call us. It's on you to remind us that what we're going through is temporary and we're not alone in it. We need you in those moments. We need reminding that we're not alone. We want to find our own way out of it but we can't. We need reminding that someone is thinking of us, that someone cares enough to be with us in those moments.

Pay attention to the people you love. Take note when you see a change. Reach out and save a life."

"I wrote some words last night to help me process things. I appreciate the attention they've received and I'm very glad if they've brought you some amount of solace and/or understanding. It occurred to me today that maybe I made things sound too simplistic and I apologize if in fact I did. So, please, keep this in mind: those words are my words, firmly grounded in my reality. Yours will be very different.

Depression isn't like the flu. You don't just catch it one day and get over it with some camomile tea and Deepak Chopra audiobooks. It is a constant struggle. Each day. Every day. When I'm not tits-deep in it, I'm hanging on the edge of it. Fortunately, mine isn't so severe that I need professional help. Not yet, at least.

Still, I stand by what I wrote. That's what I need when I'm in my dark place. But that's not true for everyone. Some people require more than just the words or company of a friend. Some people need a doctor and medication. And, even then, some people are just beyond help.

So, yes, by all means, reach out if you see someone hurting. But know when you're in over your head. And understand that not everyone can be pulled back."